31-45 Thanksgiving

31.Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

32.Why did the turkey cross the road?It was Thanksgiving Day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

33.A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The man replies “No, ma’am. They’re dead.”

34.What did the turkey say to the computer?Google, google, google.

35.A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes the insults stop. The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me.” Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?”

36.What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack! Quack!

37.Which bird is best at bowling? A turkey.

38.What sound does a limping turkey make?

Wobble, wobble!

39.Mom wants you to help fix thanksgiving dinner. Why is it broken?

40. I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them. What are you serving now? Squash.

41.If pilgrims were alive today, what would they be known for? Their age!

42. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Leftovers.

43.If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on? Scholar ships.

44.Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.

45.Did you know that there’s a book about a pilgrim who has a love affair with a turkey? It’s called 50 shades of gravy.