281-290 Police

281.Did you hear the celery got arrested? They charged him with stalking.

282.What do you call it when a prisoner takes a picture of themselves? A cellfie.

283.Why did the thief wear blue gloves? He didn’t want to be caught red-handed.

284. Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp? He got a very light sentence.

285.Knock knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the police open up!

286.Why are policemen such great volleyball players? They know how to serve and protect.

287.Why did the police show up at the baseball game? They heard someone was stealing bases.

288.A police officer pulled me over and said, “Papers.” I said, “Scissors. I win!” and drove off. I guess he wants a rematch because he’s been following me for about 45 minutes.

289.What do you call an undercover reptile? An investa-gator.

290.What happens when a police officer goes to bed? He becomes an undercover cop.

Bonus: Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. Police say they have nothing to go on.